daydreams

So many wonderful, exciting thoughts and feelings fluttering around inside my heart right now, it's hard to contain it!
I am so full of joy. God is so good, taking care of details long before I ask Him to. What a blessing to be so loved!
Things are coming together. We now know that Jesse will be the intern at Hope Lutheran, in Glendora, CA. We also might already have somewhere to live! Friends of my mom's have offered to let us live in their three bedroom house in Rosemead. I'm so excited! All of the details aren't figured out yet, but it looks like it is going to work out.
I'm so excited! Mom let me know about the house two days after we found out that we would be in Glendora. I couldn't believe it! With how expensive everything is, we had just been hoping for a little one bedroom apartment. But a three bedroom home! There are so many things we could do with that. The family will need one of the bedrooms to store things in, but that leaves us with two bedrooms, and the rest of a HOUSE which is far more than we had been hoping for anyway! It's so hard to concentrate on being a good student right now when there are so many fun things to daydream about!
Jesse and I were walking the other day and he squeezed my hand and said "know what I've been thinking? We could put your harp in the extra bedroom, and I'll put a nice reading lamp in there so that I can come in and enjoy listening to you while I read." Things like that make me so joyful to realize that life can be like that!

April 10th, 2008

we find out tomorrow night where we will be for the next year of our lives. The Celebration of Ministries service is tomorrow night, and that is where they announce to all of the DCE graduates the churches they will be placed at.

I'm so excited! DCE interns can basically be placed anywhere there is a Lutheran church big enough to need one. My old roommate, Jaime, was placed in Seattle for her internship this year, and one of my friends, Ellie, went to New Zealand with her husband for his call. We know that we will be in CA though. We requested it that way, since I'm working on my CA teaching credential. What good would that do me in Wellington? I am kind of sad though, because I would love an adventure like that! (but I can't complain, since it is my fault!)

I know it's his placement, and his internship, but I think I'm just as excited about it as he is. It's not just affecting him. It will affect us both. I want to be involved in the church and share in everything that I can. I don't want the school to be "my thing" and have church be "his." We will be married, and sharing in everything. I can't wait to go there and find out how God can use me there too.

This time tomorrow night, I'll know what city we will be living in. Right now, I have no idea. It could be Sacramento, it could be San Diego. So many exciting possibilities! The most exciting thing of all, though, is knowing that God already has it planned out, and is just waiting for us tomorrow. I love encouraging people by saying "you may not know your life plans yet, but God does, and He's already got it underway," but this is so much bigger. We have no idea, but it's already arranged! It's like it's a big present sitting under the tree, all wrapped up and waiting for us to come tomorrow night to open it.

I'm going to be so proud of Jesse at that ceremony. I already am. I love him so much!

March 13th, 2008

Tonight in my Edu 461 class, Professor O'Connor told us that we want to be sure to request the district we would like to be placed for student teaching, because "the district you do your student teaching in is the district you'll be hired in." Aaaah!
We're still counting down the days to April 11th, the day we find out the church at which Jesse will be placed for internship--until then, I don't know what to request! Also, Jesse's internship is only one year, after which he can either accept a call to that church (if they really need a DCE), or move on and find something else. If I'm finished with student teaching in December and looking for a teaching position after that, I won't know if we will really be staying there or not until probably July.
I raised my concerns with Professor O'Connor. She put her hand on my shoulder and reminded me that God will take care of things. "He always does, and He always does a better job!" she said comfortingly.
It made me realize that I've been forgetting that sometimes lately. I've always been so trusting and have found it so easy to give everything to God. Maybe right now I'm having a harder time with that because these are the biggest unknowns I've ever faced: where are we going to be placed? where are we going to live? how are we going to afford to live? what happens after student teaching? where will we be after Jesse's internship?
A pretty big step from "where am I going to college?" !!!
But then on my walk back from class, I realized something:
I may be facing the biggest "unknowns" of my life, but I'm also confident of some really big "knowns" as well:

1. I have God on my side, and He's going to make everything happen exactly the way He wants it to, and
2. I'm marrying the love of my life in less than three months! Whether we live in a Mansion, Apartment, Shack, or House (MASH, anyone?) we're going to be happy! I love him so much, and loving him for the rest of my life is ALL I want for the rest of my life...so with him and with God, I'm set.

It's going to be a wonderful life!

March 12th, 2008

we find out a month from today (well, yesterday, technically!) what city we will be living in after we get married! It's so crazy to think we're getting this close. Graduation is 2 months away, our wedding is 88 days away, things are coming together! I'm SO ready. It's harder and harder to say goodnight to Jesse at the end of the day...it would be so comforting just to be able to curl up next to him and know that he will be there again when I wake up. How wonderful that will be!

I putter around on craigslist every once in a while to see what's available as far as housing goes. Everything is so expensive, I have no idea how we're going to do it. But God will provide. I know He will. I've been praying for months that He will provide something for us within our new church family, or at least housing that we can afford. So many things to think about! So many exciting things!

I've started counting down the weeks until we're married. Sunday was 13 weeks. To celebrate, I'm going to give Jesse a little something every week as we count down. Last Sunday, I gave him a case full of cds (his case with all of his favorites has disappeared--think it might be at the dealership--luckily, one of the first ways Jesse and I connected was through music, so I have most of his favorite cds saved to my computer!) I also made a compilation cd of music that makes me think of him. special songs! Most of them will probably be used at our reception, and it's special to think of that now as we listen to it.

We're getting there!

February 14th, 2008

My Valentine poem for Jesse

When I look at myself,

At my belongings and surroundings,

I realize that I have nothing to give to you.

Nothing to give but the hands that you hold so tightly in yours,

My heart, which is only for you,

And I realize how blessed I am.

Blessed to be the one you love,

The one you laugh with,

The one who shares your dreams.

Can it be that God can fashion this kind of love

So effortlessly, as if He had planned it for us

At the beginning of the world, knowing it would be

Just for us.

How blessed I am to look forward to

A life spent with you.

I never realized how deeply I would desire that--

But now, I know with every breath

That being with you

Is all I ever need.

Whenever I look down at my hand,

See the symbol of our promise,

A thrill goes through me that makes me

Want to dance on the mountain tops.

Somehow, in spite of my quirks and klutziness,

My stubborn times and my weakened state,

You love me.

It amazes and humbles and thrills me all at the same time.

Whoever knew that I could find a best friend, a confidante,

An adventurer, a dreamer, and my prince charming all in one person?

Never before would I have believed it,

But now, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

February 12th, 2008

I'm really supposed to be writing a paper on health and safety standards in the elementary classroom right now, but I realized that I haven't posted anything about our wedding website, and figured that I'd at least share a tidbit with you :)

How We Met:

We met our sophomore year in college when Bethany transferred to Concordia University. We made an interesting pair: Jesse was the saxophonist that our orchestra director always had to ask to play more softly, and Bethany was the harpist who could never play loud enough to make Jeff happy.

We clicked during Orchestra Retreat in 2005, discovering that we shared a common love for Craisins (and thought it was sacrilegious that half of the people in orchestra had no idea what those are), as well as children and music.

We remained casual friends until the next year's orchestra retreat where Jesse offered Beth a seat in his car for any off-campus events, and everyone else in the orchestra started whispering and pointing fingers.

A day that will always be special to us was the day we officially began dating. It was the Saturday after finals, and Jesse and Bethany drove up to Ventura to see her family. After spending some time with them (and an apparent aside conversation between Beth's dad and Jesse), the two of us drove the whole one mile trip to the beach in Bethany's hometown and walked along the shore at sunset. Above the sound of the strong wind and crashing waves, Jesse asked Bethany on that beach if she would date him, and she answered "yes!"

Then, before the wind blew us away, we ran back to the car and drove to the harbor, where we walked hand-in-hand underneath an umbrella in the soft rain, enjoying the excitement of the certainty that we had each found "the one."

How We Got Engaged:

A year later, Jesse proposed on the same beach at sunset. No hurricane-force winds or downpours this time, just a soft sunset and a sand dune to enjoy it from. While Bethany was enraptured with the sun setting behind her islands, Jesse slid to one knee and told Bethany how much he loved her and was looking forward to sharing the rest of his life with her.

Since it was Christmas Eve, our whole family was back at the house (and, because of an insider's tip from the father of the bride-to-be) everyone was waiting for us to return to celebrate!

February 8th, 2008

Stephanie's last day at the preschool was today. She gave her notice two weeks ago, but it still seems so fast. It made me realize that the changes have already begun. I KNOW that things will be changing within the next few months (heck, I'm graduating and getting married!) but I guess I didn't expect changes to be coming from other sides. It's so sad to say goodbye to Steph. It feels like the end of an era. It's been such happy times at the preschool. My close circle of friends, Dalia, Emilie, Stephanie...and right now, Doll's been out because of her knee surgery for the past 2 weeks, Emilie is thinking about looking for another job, and now Stephanie is gone. I'm going to miss all of them so much when I leave...I guess I just expected them all to stay there though, because none of them are moving!

So many changes...most for the good. I woke up this morning with the realization that I am getting married four months from today! It's still so hard to believe. I'm so excited! And I'm more ready than ever. Jesse and I have focused on filling out our registries the last two weeks, and I think we're pretty much done. That's such a relief! And so exciting...we've filled up our dreamhouse. I can't wait to live with him. It is going to be so incredibly amazing!