December 6th, 2007

I've had a low fever since Tuesday night. I missed work yesterday because I felt so horrible, and even when I showed up at the preschool today, they sent me home. It's so weird not to be at work during the day. I'm almost going crazy. It makes me realize more and more that I don't fit in here any more. Being on campus for the last two days and seeing what people actually do (or don't do) during the day kind of surprised me. I only had my first semester at Concordia where I wasn't working 30 hours a week...I guess I forgot what life was like without having a job. It's so weird to look out my window at 11:00 on a Thursday morning and see people strolling up to the cafeteria in their pajamas, or hear the guys next door playing Halo, or hear a snooze button getting hit again and again... By that time, I've usually already been working for three hours!
Right now, I'm missing out on preparing lunch for my little ones, making sure they all wash their hands before they come in, and smiling at their flushed faces as they hang up their coats and sit in their little blue chairs.

I hate being sick!!!

Jesse's taking care of me, though. He's been so sweet! He brings me tea, offers to get anything I need from the store, and comes to check in on me. He picked me up from work on Tuesday because he didn't want me walking back with a fever. Yesterday he came by between his classes to make sure I was ok, to hug me, and to tuck me in under all my covers.

Last night when he stopped by after his meeting, he was concerned that I was still planning on going back to work in the morning. "You're still sick," he said, "you need to rest!" I insisted on going. It nearly killed me to miss yesterday! "Just promise me," he finally said when he knew I wasn't going to give in, "that if you wake up in the morning and you're still not feeling well, just suck it up and don't go to work!" I laughed, because I wasn't expecting to be told to "suck it up" and NOT go. He laughed too. "Anybody else, I would tell them to suck it up and go, but for you, it's just the opposite," he said, "it's OK to be sick, Beth!"

Well, I wasn't feeling that great when I got up this morning, but I didn't want to go another day without my little ones. So I showered, got dressed, and walked to work. When I got there, Michelle (the director) asked me how I was doing. I was honest: "not that great, but I'm here!" She said that she had already replaced me for the day, and since I still had a fever, she wanted me to go home. Dalia didn't have to clock in for 20 more minutes, so she insisted on driving me back to my dorm. When I was back on campus, I called Jesse. The first thing he said was "you didn't suck it up, did you?" !!!

He had me come over to his room and spend the day there on his couch. He made sure I had tea, was comfortable, and kept me company. We both did our homework in the living room. He gets distracted easily, so I hope my presence didn't hurt him in that respect. It was very nice to be able to cuddle up on a couch next to him for a whole day, though!

Thank You, God, for someone who takes such good care of me!